My Angel Story

By Lloyd Rosen

 

I pondered the question while conversing with a gentleman that an archangel was speaking through in order to protect me from contemplating suicide yet again: should I listen and act upon what I was hearing, or should I just keep it to myself?

In reading this column, you will realize why I acted instead of keeping it to myself.

I started suffering with depression at the age of 13 and lived with it as if nothing was wrong, as if it was all natural for 36 years.

The first time I contemplated suicide was in 2001. At that time, life for me was miserable; I did not care whether I lived or died — until the night I was going to kill myself.

I had been thinking about suicide for a little while and decided after weeks to do it one night. I had no question in my mind that it was the right thing to do. As I was about to start my attempt, I heard a voice. Some people might think that I was mentally sick, just hearing voices. But I believe this was God’s voice telling me he had not called for me yet.

Life was going well, or so I thought. Professionally, I had just transferred to the picture-perfect postcard of the Wenatchee Valley. But was life really that good? My wife of 13 years decided she wanted a divorce, and within six weeks of relocating here, I was out of a job. So what’s a man to do? That’s where this story really takes off.

On this particular Sunday morning in mid-May, I woke up feeling like I had lost everything in six weeks. I lay in bed feeling sorry for myself. I decided to get up, get dressed and take off, leaving my belongings behind, including my car. My journey took me to the Pipeline Bridge spanning the Columbia River.

While standing on the bridge thinking about how I was not going to fail at this attempt, I was approached by a man. Under normal circumstances, answering a question from someone would not mean very much. That decision to stay became the foundation for something bigger. Over time, I turned this experience into purpose — writing a book to share my journey, creating a Facebook community to support others navigating depression, and serving as a moderator for an international mental health group. What once felt like an ending became a beginning — not just for me, but for the people I have now helped.

This, I’m now convinced, though, was not just any man.

In conversing with him, I could tell from the direction of the conversation that he had been sent to me for a very important reason. That reason was to save my life.

You have heard the story of the person who is trapped in a car after an accident and when the rescuers get there, the trapped person is out of the car and no one is there. That is what I felt.

Again, I’m convinced this man looking just like you and me was sent by God to make sure I did not leave this world on this particular morning. He told me that he had come to the Wenatchee area for a memorial service for his brother who had died. He was just out for a morning walk when he came upon me and asked me that question.

We stood there by the water for about two hours talking about God and Jesus and what it means to live by his word. It felt so good. I wasn’t even thinking about what I had come to that spot for. He offered to buy me lunch, and, after eating, we parted ways in opposite directions, never to see each other again.

Lloyd Rosen lived in Wenatchee for about seven weeks earlier this year. He now calls Texas home. He can be reached at bowler900@sbcglobal.net. www.lloydsrosen.com